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These are things you should never do when it comes to picking up
women online, regardless of how much coffee you drank.
1- When conversing through e-mail, don't write your life story
Nothing turns off a woman more than a man who can't shut up. If you
don't believe me, the next time you're corresponding with a woman you've
met online, write a one-page e-mail about what you like to do on
weekends, and see what kind of response you get. Nine times out of 10, a
woman won't even reply to you. She'll simply delete your e-mail and move
on to the next guy. Why is that?
First, women usually perceive a long-winded man as needy. And most
women want a challenge. Needy men aren't challenging. Second, quite
frankly, women want to do all of the talking. And they want you to
listen.
What to do: Keep all your e-mail replies short (i.e. no longer than
three sentences). The first two sentences should be used for answering a
question (or questions) she may have asked, and the last sentence should
be reserved for asking her a question. Remember: Questions keep the
'dialogue' moving, and give her the sense that you are thoughtful and
interested.
2- Don't initiate sexual talk
Many women think men have nothing but sex on brain. Though there is
some truth to this statement, you'll get further in the game by not
hinting at or talking about sex.
Besides, in this politically correct world, who wants to take the
chance of offending women with sex talk, especially if you don't know
them well?
What to do: Just don't do it. In fact, you'd be surprised by how many
women will actually initiate a conversation about sex. When a woman
initiates talk about sex, consider that a green light, though I suggest
that your comments be very well thought out. Besides, if you're looking
for aggressive sexual dialogue with a woman, there are plenty of 'adult'
oriented personal sites that cater to that.
3- Don't lie
It's a known fact that a significant percentage of men and women lie
about themselves, whether it's about marital status, income, education
level or occupation, when it comes to creating an online profile of
themselves.
I'm a true believer that the lies will catch up with you -- sooner
rather than later. And if you find a woman who is really interested in
you, and you've lied to her, it's just a matter of time before she finds
out the truth.
What to do: If you think your income is too low, or if your
occupation isn't exactly exciting, simply 'up-sell' other qualities
about yourself. Focus on the good instead. Never lie to impress a woman.
Ever.
4- Don't send too many e-mail or IM messages
Again, you don't want to appear needy.
One way to appear needy is by sending a woman three or four e-mail or
IM messages a day.
Of course, if the e-mail or IM conversation is moving along at
breakneck speed and is interesting and stimulating, then by all means,
have a full-fledged dialogue with her. In other words, don't hold back.
You may even try to close the deal right there and ask her out on a
date.
But if you're in the early stages where you're still in the process
of getting to know each other, then I suggest keeping your interactions
to a minimum.
What to do: I know it's difficult, especially if the woman is hot,
but you have to be disciplined. Limit yourself to two e-mails per day,
and keep streaming IM conversations to no longer than 15 minutes. If the
dialogue exceeds this time, then excuse yourself and end the
conversation, saying that you have some things to take care of -- and
don't go into detail about it.
By doing this, you'll remain mysterious, something that turns most
women on.
5- Don't spread yourself too thin
One of the better problems to have with Internet dating is
corresponding with too many women.
Yeah, I know exactly what you're thinking: What man doesn't want to
be chased by dozens of beautiful women? But truth be told, having an
effective personal ad that generates a lot of responses can backfire on
you if you're not careful.
For instance, in the past month, I've received 56 responses to my
personal ad. That's a ton of women to e-mail. In fact, it's too many.
Way too many.
If you try to reply to every single woman who responds to your ad,
you'll soon find yourself spending your days writing e-mail. More
importantly, you'll start forgetting what you've said and to whom.
I can't tell you how many times I've been embarrassed because I asked
a woman the same question four or five times.
What to do: Though I encourage you to be polite, you may find
yourself physically unable to reply to every woman who has responded to
your ad. In fact, I recommend that you don't reply to every woman who
responds to your personal ad.
Instead, if you're getting dozens of responses each week, only reply
to the women you wish to pursue further. Furthermore, if these leads
don't work out for you, then you can always go back to the other women
you didn't reply to originally.
6- Don't appear too eager to go on a date
Unless a woman immediately asks to meet you (and some will), a rule
of thumb about asking a woman for a date is to wait at least a week
after the initial contact before asking her out.
If you ask her out too soon, when she's not ready and comfortable,
she'll disappear.
If you wait, one of the things that will go through her mind is, why
isn't this guy asking me out?
When that happens, you'll instantly become more attractive to her.
What to do: Let her make the first move. If she's the kind of woman
who wants to be pursued, she might be a high maintenance princess, and
that's the last thing you want to deal with.
Play it safe, play it cool
Now, we're all a bunch of macho men, but you can never be too safe.
The last thing you want is to be involved in a real-life fatal
attraction.
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